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Hey guys, TBSD here with (another) blog! This is part of my weekly blog series 'The Walking Complaints'; a series of blogs about what irritates certain members of our community. This weeks topic- The bane of all true TWD fans, Glen Mazzara.
This blog contains offensive language, unpopular opinions and a rather strange list that details how much of a twat Mazzara is (compared to other prominent twats).
Right then, let's get started. First of all, I think we can all agree that Mazzara is a twat. This is the man who ruined the Prison Arc ladies and gentleman, he deserves no mercy. So...on with the blog...
The Twat List
The Twat List is my comprehensive list of the biggest twats in the universe. Move over Mao and sod off Saddam, this is real evil...
10. Michael Gove- The real life equivalent of TV Governor.
9. Prince Charles- We all know what he did to Diana...
8. Prince Philip- ...we all know he finished what Charlie started. #ConspiracyTheory
7. Harry Styles- You will NEVER replace Lennon, so fuck off Harry!
6. That Bieber Thing- It spits at people who dedicate their lives to it and snatches baby monkeys from their mothers.
5. King Joffrey- Never has a fictional character been more reviled...
4. Jar Jar Binks- ...except for bloody Jar Jar Binks!
3. Nick Clegg- I would rather vote for Joffrey.
2. David fucking Dickinson- Probably the most irritating man in the world.
1. Glen Mazzara- No points for guessing why...
That's right folks, Mazzara beat out the likes of Jar Jar Binks, Nick Clegg and David fucking Dickinson to be rated as the biggest twat who has ever existed. Just take a moment to reflect on that folks, Mazzara is worse than this:
And even this:
Does that tell you how very little I think of him?
What Mazzara did wrong- Season 2
Season 2 Part Two was carried out fairly well, but it could have been much better. Mazzara denied Jeffrey DeMunn a chance to come back to the show, which fucked up so many storylines; and he culled the farm occupants like they were badgers. He also fucked up big time with the Randall storyline; which was dull, badly written, and to be honest just shit. He also write that stupid Andrea disappearance in the finale, setting off a chain of events that ruined Season 3.
What Mazzara did wrong- Woodbury/Andrea
First thing that he did wrong, Woodbury/Andrea. They should never have mixed and I'm sure most of my fellow comic fans would agree with me. He also cut out several important characters such as Doc Stevens, Good Guy Martinez, Fat Gabe, Bruce and the delightful Alice. In turn he replaced them with Crowley, Generic Henchman Martinez, Shumpert, Haley, Rowan, Gargulio, Tim and the abomination that called itself Doctor AS. And then he and the other writers brutally murdered one of the best written comic villains of all time and replaced him with a psychotic, egotystical politician; also known as Michael Gove. This new villain, the Gove-ernor as I like to call him, was intended to be just as terrifying as Comic Governor. Saying that the Gove-ernor is as threatening as Comic Governor is like saying a chihuahua is as dangerous as a rabid Great Dane.
What Mazzara did wrong- The Prison
Mazzara turned the most infamous location in the whole franchise into a laughing stock! First of all, he destroyed the chance of a great storyline (serial killer) with his altered prisoner line-up (Two tokens, two one episode bad guys and a sub-par comic reference), and then he had the nerve to turn Daryl Dixon, who was rather interesting in Season 1, into what he was slowly becoming during Season 2 Part Two, a 'perfect' character. Ask anyone about great characters and they will surely bring up the likes of Walter White and Tony Soprano. Flawed characters, nowhere near perfect. Flaws make charactes likeable and interesting; being imperfect makes them perfect!
Mazzara then proceeded to kill off Lori and T-Dog in the most overrated episode since Seed. Killer Within was a slap in the face for anyone wishing to see Lori's tragically hopeless comic death., and it wasted a character with great potential just so they could be used as a distraction. This whole fiasco was forshadowed by Shane and Otis in Season 2. Mazzara killed them off because they knew what he was doing! (Note- I know Darabont killed Otis, I'm just kidding.)
He then went on to make things worse by having the prison group negotiate with the Gove-ernor, followed by a shitty attempt at the Prison Assault. If Lori's death was a slap in the face to comic fans then Episodes 13, 14 and 16 were a firm kick to the testicles. As anyone in the UK education system knows, the Gove-ernor can't be reasoned with. I can't actually complain about this any more or I will bitch slap my computer screen!
What Mazzara did right...
This page is blank. To add more text, go back in time and make sure Mazzara does something right.
Glen Mazzara is a fucking twat.
No TBSD blog would be complete without some polls, so here they are.
I don't really need to ask if you guys think Mazzara is a twat, as you've already made your opinions clear. However I would like to ask your opinions on my Twat List and my complaints themselves, as well as comments about the blog in general. So leave your comments below!
If you have any ideas for a future rant then please, leave a message on my talk page or comment here. Enjoy!
Tuesdays Blog- What if TBSD replaced Darabont instead of Mazzara + New template contest!